Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i believe in u and ur pee
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