I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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