what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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