Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
