Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
