I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
