but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
