hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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