I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
