Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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