i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
