I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
