I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
