I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
BRING THE BAGELS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
