i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
