and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm always down for nudity.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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