I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
