ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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