Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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