): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize