I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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