So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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