I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
