Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
