Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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