do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
