We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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