youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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