No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Boobs speak an international language.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize