yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize