Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
