Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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