You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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