every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize