After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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