Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize