# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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