Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
