Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
