It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
