my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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