Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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