Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We're too hungover to prance.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
