ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
