I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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