I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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