Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
