youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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