so explain again why im purple
no
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I need a burrito and a hug.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
