Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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