so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
