We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
