My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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