Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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