WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He felt like a one man threesome
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
