I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
