I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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