dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
