Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
