I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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