I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
