You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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