theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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