Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize