Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize