Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
