Your tits are I can't wait for
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
