I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
