Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
