I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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