porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
