I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
