we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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