Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
