Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
