and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
