i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
