Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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