dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize