do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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